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Die Aapmens ......

« on: January 29, 2013, 06:02:34 PM »

Jacob Zuma walked into a branch FNB bank to cash a cheque. As he approached the cashier he said "Good morning , could you please cash this cheque for me"?

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Zuma: "Well I didn't bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Jacob Zuma, the President !!!"

Cashier: "I'm sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters, fraud and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity."

Zuma: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry Mr President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Zuma: "I need this cheque cashed."

Cashier: "Perhaps there's another way: One day Ernie Els came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Ernie Els he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup.

With that shot we knew him to be Ernie Els and cashed his cheque. Another time, Naas Botha came in without ID. He pulled out a rugby ball and made a fabulous drop kick where the ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular kick we cashed his cheque. So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President?"

Zuma stood there thinking and finally says: "Honestly, I can't think of a single thing I'm good at."

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, Mr President?"

 innocent Big Grin

Ek is bly ek is nie 'n Stormer ondersteuner nie
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« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2013, 06:11:57 PM »

 Ha Ha Ha Ha

Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life. Albert Einstein
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« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2013, 03:50:26 AM »

lekker lag ek nou vroeg oggend

Bly nederig en waardeer wat jy het, dit kan binne oomblikke van jou weggeneem word.
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« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2013, 08:20:49 PM »

 Ha Ha Ha Ha So waar!!

Kinders is die lewendige boodskappe wat ons stuur na 'n tyd wat ons nooit sal sien nie.
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« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2013, 05:16:37 PM »

I came out of the chip shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy
peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said "I've not
eaten for two days." I told him "I wish I had your will power.."

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things
commonly found in cells. Apparently "Young Blacks" and "Romanian Gypos"
were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time today. She said "sorry
about the wait." I said "don't worry dear, you might lose it eventually."

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said "Any change?" I said "No, you're
still black".

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches
tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him
"What's wrong?" The boy says "Me ma is dead". "Oh bej***s" the man says
"Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ?" The boy replies "No
tanks mister, Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment."

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich
works better !

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast
shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with
her mouth shut.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could
look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself .......
I'm going to have that.

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a
farmer in the fields and shouts down to him "Where am I ?" The Irish farmer
looks back up and shouts back. "You can't fool me, you're in that basket up

I had a Trivia competition in the bag until the very last question .......
which I got wrong. The question was 'Where do women have the
curliest hair?' Apparently the correct answer was Fiji .

A woman has a medical at the Doctors; "you are grossly overweight" he says.
"I want a 2nd opinion", she exclaimed " OK- you're bloody ugly as well"

If you sow honesty, you will reap trust
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